As most of you know, I am Jack Mehoff. I'm jus lettin those commando military chipmunks, and hicks from Hickland that.....forget the hicks they're all dead. I'm jus lteein those commando military chipmunks that I'm coming for you in mi brand new military crane. Prepare to die.

Day 1: I am on schedule for my patrolling duties. I have chosen the military base nearest to the one destroyed by the commando military chipmunks before. These things like to conquer things in groups, which is bad for us. But for today, it was quiet.....

Day 2:It's still quiet in this base, but dust rises about a mile out. It can't be the wind because there isn't any. Then chirrping sounds are heard, and the chipmunk army rises over the horizon. Tens of thousands of chipmunks with full body armor and heavy artillery with that. Then a small force of deer join the chipmunks in their march toward the base; then a group of hicks join them. The chipmunks must have strong negotion methods to turn the remaining hicks against us. Then about a quarter mile out they halt to prepare their attack. We prepare our snipers and our turrets. Then the first wave of deer are sent in to attack. And so it begins.....

Day 3:The deer are closing in on our base with dynamite sticks wrapped around their necks. "Snipers! Take out those deer!" The snipers sent out a round of fire. All of the deer die without an injury to us humans. Then the hicks are sent in riding their cows. I said to the army "These hicks love to eat cow shiznit! Throw the cow shiznit!" The cow crap was thrown and sure enough, the hicks went over and started to eat it. "Throw the grenades!" All the hicks were killed in the series of grenade explosions. But the real challenge was waiting just beyond the barricade.....

Day 4: The chipmunks sent in their first wave. Our troops are running out of ammo. That was the reason the chipmunks were so careless! Damn it! They start firing their tanks at the base. We've sustained heavy damage from this attack. Then the chipmunk commando military troops were sent in. They were tearing through our defenses and killing everyone in sight. We were done for. Then over the horizon, we saw a guy riding a motorcycle toward the base. All of the chipmunks stopped fighting. The guy was retarded. He said "OOOOOOOOOOO." The chipmunks were confused by this. He continued "I don't wanna die." The chipmunks felt bad for him."I jus wanna ride my moooooo. I jus wanna ride my motorcy....". Then a gunshot was heard and the motorcycleman fell to the ground, bleeding heavily out of his head......

Day 5: After the tragic death of the motorclcelman, his mototcycle blew up, killing over 20,000 chipmunks. Then the human army stormed out of the base and took out the remaining chipmunks. We have won, all because of a retarded motorcycleman. We are forever grateful. The death toll rose to over 55,000. 30,000 chipmunks, 10,000 hicks, 10,000 deers, and 5,000 humans